I admire you ladies

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Permalink Reply by Candy Foote on February 9, 2010 at 10:08am

Hi, Amanda. I just want to say that I am impressed with this post. It takes a lot to admit where we are.
Please remember while you are reading about everyone else, that we are not perfect.
Also remember, that we got where we are through prayer and God's grace. Believe me, many of us started right where you are now. Be patient with yourself.
I would like to send you my ebook, "The Word of God on Being a Woman, a Wife and a Mother."
If you would like it, just email me at candy@candyfoote.com

I'm praying for you.

Blessings,

~Candy~

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Permalink Reply by Molly White on February 10, 2010 at 11:08pm

Hi, Amanda!

I hope you have had a wonderful day with your little ones, and a sweet evening with your husband! I am new to this group, but have also noticed alot of amazing women around here! Do grab a hold of the inspiration that offers, but don't let it be discouraging! We are all at different places in our lives, and we all have room to grow!

It's awesome that you love your kids, want to improve your marriage, are reading your Bible daily, and praying throughout the day! Keep it up! You say that you still feel distant. That is a frustrating thing - I've been there. But, the good news is, God must be drawing closer, since you feel newly convicted to be more purposeful with you kids throughout the day. How awesome is that?

My humble advice would be to set a loose routine for yourself. If you and the kids are usually up at 7, maybe aim for getting dressed and have breakfast by 8. Then maybe you could sit down on the floor and sing and play with them together for a few minutes before the baby's morning nap. Then maybe after he lays down, you could spend a few minutes with your daughter, perhaps with an educational slant to it. I find that homeschooling with a baby in the house happens most smoothly when the baby is sleeping (but that could just be me!). And don't get overwhelmed and think you need to do a ton! You could read a couple of books to her while cuddled up on the couch, sing a song, and then color together for a few minutes. Or you could bake brownies together, and talk about the numbers and how important it is to follow the instructions in order. Or sort laundry together while talking about the colors of the clothes and counting. Homeschooling is sometimes more a decision to enter into purposeful conversation with our kids than about lesson plans. After that, if your son is still napping, help your daughter find something to do, and then give yourself a few minutes on the computer. We all need contact with other adults! It's just important to not let it become a consuming need. Set a timer for yourself so you can stick to an amount of time you feel is right. So, by now maybe it's 10 am. It could be snack time. Perhaps your son is up now. With a well rested baby and a well fed child, now is a great time to run an errand if you need to! Then, you can come home for lunch and naps. If you didn't manage to get up before the kids and have a few minutes alone with the Lord, now would be a good time. You might want to do some dinner prep now, while the kids are resting. When I do that I find it so much easier to keep my cool and be sweet during what tends to become a hectic dinner hour. Then, after they wake up, you'll have a few mintues to do something fun with them before dinner, and your husband has a better chance of coming home to a cheerful family after his long day at work.

Wow. That sounds so ideal. I wish I could achieve that peacefulness everyday! I don't - however, I do have an ideal daily routine typed up. I like to have something to aim for, even if I miss the mark more days than I hit it. And I try super hard not to beat myself up about not hitting it.

So, that is the SAHM/homeschooling part. I really haven't meant to type this much! Improving your marriage is also something you mentioned, and something I am PASSIONATE about! My husband and I nearly divorced a few years ago, and after having been through that horrible time, and watching as God miraculously restored our relationship, I've got to say - give your husband a lot of love! I know it is tough - when you have cared for two children all day long, it does feel like you need "me" time. But try for a time, at least, to let that idea go a bit. Try to be content with the moments you carve out for yourself while the kids are sleeping. And then, everytime you think of needing time away, think of something sweet you can do for your husband instead. It could be making his favorite dinner, suprising him with a short shoulder massage, wearing something you know he loves, purposefully smiling, hugging, and kissing him when he gets home from work, or telling him thank you at the end of his work day. Do this for 5 days maybe, and then re-evaluate your heart. Sometimes I think I get in a rut of thinking that I just need to break out of. I can promise you this - he will certainly appreciate the love and attention!

Amanda, hang in there. Lean on our sweet, loving Father. Find a group of women you can connect to and do this mothering thing with! I am so grateful for a group of women at my church that gets together every Friday morning to let the kids play together. We get to have little snippets of conversation between mothering moments, and they are so encouraging.

Love and blessings!

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Permalink Reply by Dawn on February 12, 2010 at 7:07pm

Wow, I could not have said it better Molly! Amanda, hang in there, be patient, and like the other ladies have said, we are not perfect and we all have our daily struggles. My day is actually A LOT like Molly's, and sometimes things go smoothly, and other times it is just CHAOTIC!!! At least we can all start fresh with each morning. When the kids are resting is the perfect time for me to have a little time to myself, it recharges me for the rest of the day. Try to find some moms to do life with, a good place to start is at your church. I know you said in another post they are all older than you, I know how you feel, but some of my best friends now are all older than me whether 5 years, 10 years, or even 30 years. Those older women are so full of wisdom and knowledge, and you may have more in common than you think! :)
Have a wonderful day,
Dawn

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Permalink Reply by Mary on February 13, 2010 at 12:24am

I really like what you have shared. I have done these things over 11 years of marriage and 3 years of motherhood and found that God will bless our humble efforts. I am praying for all of you that we can be strengthened in all that fills our days as wife and mother.

I love the promise in Is. that says "He shall gently lead those that are with young". I have felt the presence of God many times gently leading me as a mother of young children.

Blessings!

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